Tank Driving 101

I should make mention of the hotel at which we stayed.  Having learnt a valuable lesson from our first trip (don't cheap out too much with a grubby hotel), we chose to stay a bit further away from the hustle and bustle of Times Square opting for the W on Lexington in Midtown. 

It was a billion times better than the flea-bitten Milford Plaza of our last trip.  Despite NYC's reputation for shoebox accommodation and being assigned a 'cozy' W room, I felt that the room was more than comfortable and on par in size with the shite Milford.  It probably helped that the room obeyed basic hygiene and OHS rules.   

Mmmmm comfy, body-lice free bed.....Anyway enough about the hotel, but I would definitely stay here again. 

Today was Woodbury Common day.  That meant... more shopping.  More specifically, luxury brand outlet shopping.  I think it's the only place in the world where there is a Chanel outlet (which was not open today.. dammit).  Repeating what we did last time, we hired a car.  Not only is it the most convenient option but we were being joined by Aims and her friend Eeee, so it just made more sense to go in one car. 

We had requested a small 4-wheel drive, something like a Honda CRV.  There was a mix-up and our sat-nav was not available in the car.  Hertz offered to give us a different car which did have a sat-nav.  Yeah ok, I'm good with that.

When they drove out the Cadillac Escalade, we wanted them to drive right back into the garage.  I mean w...t....f..........!!  This has got to be the BIGGEST mofo of a "car" I have ever seen.  This beast was a tank with rims.  

Smee with the tank.  Me with the tank.... yes I am in that photo.  No, we are not playing tricks with perspective.  The car is MASSIVE. 

The photos don't do it justice, you have to stand next to an Escalade to truly see what a monster of a machine it is.  This is the car that gangstas rap about and rich athletes and celebs buy.  Yet here we were, little Asian me, little Asian Smee in the car with two more little asian girls in the backseat.

Look, even J-Lo mentions it in the first verse! (Fast fwd to 1.06mins)

The problem with this car is that it grabs attention.  We noticed that whenever we stopped at a crossing, pedestrians would pause to admire the car and then eventually their adoration transformed to shock/surprise once they saw the midget Asians inside.  We even had people point and laugh at us! 

Not only did Smee have to come to grips with driving on the right hand side of the road, he also had to deal with the width girth of the Escalade.  Despite all the car swapping by the idiots at Hertz, they actually gave us a car with a non-functional GPS and thus we were dependent on Smee's mobile phone GPS program..... which didn't really pick up a strong signal in parts of Manhattan. 

Early on in our journey, our GPS directed us to drive over a bridge heading to Brooklyn......which was incidentally the wrong effing way.  Imagine a bridge, fully completed and structurally sound.  Vertical steel beams line each side of the bridge.   Now, imagine that same bridge but this time with a single car lane attached to the side of it.  Kinda like a hasty afterthought cheap-ass addition.  The GPS instructed that we drive on this stapled-on lane.  Needless to say, it wasn't a very wide lane but we were in a very wide car and in the driving seat was someone who does not normally drive a left-hand drive vehicle.

Smee kept veering to the right and I kept worrying I would die falling off the bridge or die scraping my face on the pylons.  The stress got the better of Smee and he ended up veering so close that my passenger side mirror hit the bridge and snapped back onto my window.  The mirror's back cover fell off but luckily remained attached to the electrical circuitry, albeit it for dear life.  Otherwise, we would've had an insurance claim on our hands.  Smee stopped as soon as we got off the bridge and Eeee helped me replace the mirror cover.  For the rest of the journey, I had to nudge Smee whenever the car kept drifting too far out of it's lane. 

After taking a few wrong turns and a bit of a detour through a country town, we finally got to Woodbury Common and the shopping madness began.  Smee got a few bargain jackets, I got a handbag for price I would never see otherwise, Aims bought kilograms of designer gifts and Eeeee, well she came back with a brand new suitcase filled to it's maximum. 

This is not all of our shopping.  There's plenty more but the car seat is impeding the view.  

The return drive to Manhattan was relatively smooth until the GPS mistakenly brought us to Brooklyn again while trying to drop off Aims and Eeeee.  Then there was the whole saga with parking this damn truck.  The carpark attendant did not want to accept our vehicle because...... wait for it...... IT WAS TOO BIG!  After having a little stress attack in my head, the attendant caved in and proceeded to skillfully reversed it into the car elevator.  Good riddance to this giant car (for now).  

Starving (it was now 10pm) we made our way to Koreatown on 32nd St for some late night munchies.  This is how much NYC rocks - most of the restaurants in Koreatown are open 24 hours.  If, if, IF I ever had a hankering for a bulgolgi breakfast, I am not short of options here. 

We had dinner at Kun Jip at Aim's and Eeee's recommendation and yah-huh, it was pretty good.  Anything at that time of night would have tasted great.  Also, after years of paying for kim chi in London, it was nice to have it given to you complimentary for once! 

Smee with all the yummy food.

Our clam soup, eggy tofu and kalbi.  Num nums. 

Bed time came once more and never so much did we want to flop onto a hotel bed.