London Transport Museum

The London Transport Museum rocks. Nuff said. It's a little boy's dream. No I am not a little boy, but I umm.. empathise very well. This museum will appeal to more to those who have lived in London and have wondered how the public transport system developed. Not that it wouldn't appeal to anyone else (who doesn't like to see old trains and buses?) but yeah, you will appreciate it just that tad bit more.

It's not free like the majority of the other museums (£10 entry) but don't let that put you off. The exhibitions are set out in chronological order and begins on the ground floor.

Uponing entering the 'time machine' (which curiously looks a lot like an elevator) you are brought back to the year 1800 (maybe it was earlier than that but my camera didn't manage to capture it).

Even more curiouser, you have not only time-traveled, but you are also no longer on the ground floor - you're on the first floor! :D Your adventure within the museum is made all the more 'fun-er' with a card for which you obtain a stamp at each station. Oooh! :D

My first stamp! A horse and a cart!

A real horse and cart.

An interesting little fact about bulls in London.


(T-B, L-R) A man having difficulty with a train window. Me helping myself to the luggage. Sitting with the other 'passengers' (yes I was sitting in the display even though the sign didn't allow it). Smee doing a very good homeless impersonation.

The coolest coffee table ever! I want one!

The view of the trams and electric buses from the first floor.

Driving the kiddie bus. I even fit the uniform! Smee driving me on the bus. (Yes we asked a fellow tourist to take that photo for us).

In the kiddie bus. In the kiddie black cab.

A sample of the lost items left on the Tube.

Oh no! He's been hit by a bus!

Smee driving the 149 bus. It really does go to London Bridge! Me issuing bus tickets.

Yay! I got all the stamps! :D

Oooh yes, a very fun day out. The museum shop was full of all sorts of products plastered with the Tube roundel. Underwear with the tube map. A business shirt with the tube map (I'm sure all your male partners would love that *looks side to side*). Socks with the tube map. You could even buy furniture which is covered in the same fabric used on Tube seats. Sounds kinda ugh, but it was surprisingly funky. Anyone who lives in London and/or has a mild interest in public transport should make their way down to the Transport Museum - I'll come again with you!

Theatre Walking Tour

Leesh scored some free tix to the Theatreland Walking Tour so off we went. Now, it's not as though I haven't all these theatres before, but it's nice to hear about the history of them.

The guide was a 50+ woman who clearly loves this stuff and I'm happy when people ruv their stuff and do tours because they want to, not just because it brings in the dough. (Mike the Hottie, I'm thinking of you here).

Oustide the Stomp theatre.

We learned about the history of some of the iconic theatres, saw the oldest clock in London (in Chinatown about Wong Kei if you need to know) , realised that there are Charlie Chaplin and Shakespeare statues in Leicester Square and were told that Les Miserables was intended as a short running show, but was so popular that it still remains on show today, it's 23rd year.

Interesting tour but definitely for fans.

Drift 08

There was a free exhibit, Drift 08, along the Thames which opened up some photo opportunities.

Particularly cool was 'Ghost Bridge', a light installation above the posts of the dismantled old Blackfriars Bridge.

The view from north of the Thames.

The south view.

'Ghost Bridge' together with it's replacement.

Obviously not Blackfriars bridge. The Millenium bridge with St. Paul's in the background.

My camera is crap.

Borough Market Disappoints

I do my enjoy my eating times at Borough but today *tsk tsk* they let me down.

Look at this sorry excuse for a baguette.

Doesn't look appetising eh? The worst part is that it is meant to be one of the ultimate sandwiches, the Vietnamese Banh Mi or as I affectionately call it; the 'Poison Pork Roll', the media tag it attained after being the centre of a gastroenteritis outbreak.

The photo doesn't really demonstrate so, but it is only about the size of a side dinner roll. The ingredients were a bit suspect too.

I opted for the prawn wrap available outside at Applebee's. Lettuce and garlic mayo were included.

Now, Borough Market has a reputation for a being an organic, fresh food (not mutually inclusive) market which serves decent fodder. These prawns were clearly the frozen and probably foreign variety. The taste and texture were a giveaway. You know how frozen prawns (especially the pre-peeled ones) kinda taste NQR and are somewhat rubbery? Like they've been treated with some sort of chemical/preservative? That's how these prawns tasted... bleh. The garlic sauce covered it up a bit but still..... bleh!

I'll have to go back again and eat something else to compensate for meal I had today.

Southbank Food Festival

I woke up about 2.30pm today. Ho hum. Not a good start given that I had wanted to go look at the offerings at the Southbank Festival of Food. Starving, we made our way down. It was a little disappointing as I had expected more stalls.

But hey, they had churros. I do like my churros. They're pretty much the only reason for this blog post.

New Shoes!

I've been to Bicester Village a few times whilst living in London and each time I've never gone away with a satisfying stash. This time was no different. Boo hoo.

I did manage to walk away with a pair of £40 Camper shoes. *clap clap* Well actually, the deal was 2 pairs for £120 and get the third pair free. So me, Smee and Mr. Wong each got a pair.

Look, together they make a bow! Cute.

The Fashion Show - TV Taping

SuBoo scored some free tickets to be a part of the studio audience during the taping of 'The Fashion Show'. I was one of her esteemed guests. (Fanks SuBoo!) None of us had seen the show prior and didn't know what to expect.

We found out that we had missed the taping with Peaches Geldof. Damn. Not that I'm a fan. But our celebrity guest was someone I'd never heard of. Which is a bit hard to come by given the amount of TV I watch and rubbishy free newspapers I read.

We were taught how/when to cheer. Yay, that's always a bit of fun. Then we were told the taping could last 3-4 hours. Hmmm, not good. There were no seats! We'd have to stand for those hours! Given that I wasn't wearing extreme high heels, it wasn't going to affect me much, but there was an audible groan in the crowd. We were cautioned about fainting too. Err.. yay?

A few things I observed during the taping:

• Average age of the crowd was probably 18
• Female: Male ratio was about 100:1
• Is it me, or is there a slight chavvy feel?

There were three hosts for the show - one male, two female. It did seem a little unnecessary given that each episode only ran for 30 minutes. I later found out that the male presenter was George Lamb and the other two women were models, Michelle De Swarte and Abigail Clancy.

It was evident during the taping that Georgie-boy was the 'brains' of the three. He sounded like he could give decent banter and of course he was the one conducting the interview with the celebrity guest. I kept thinking 'Why is this guy doing such trite?' but hey, it must pay his bills, so I guess he can't complain.

Michelle seemed ok enough, but it was Abigail who was much less impressive. I mean, this girl just couldn't read an autocue for shit and reinforced the bimbo model stereotype. She fluffed every line after which it would be punctuated with an expletive. 'Oh, f&*king hell' was her favourite.

This was pretty funny the first time, less so the second and third time, frustrating on the forth and fifth times and then just plain worrisome for the remainder of the time. It was like she needed remedial reading classes. Anyway, she was annoying enough and put me off watching future episodes of the show.

We then got to see an 'exclusive' performance of boy band Avenue and their new single 'Last Goodbye'. Avenue? Who? Oh, right... a band discovered on X-Factor. They had decent enough voices. One looked disturbingly like Brian Harvey's younger brother and another looked like Seth from The OC. If you managed to catch the episode on TV, this is where groupies SuBoo and CL made their TV debut - for a full three seconds!

A few people had trickled out during the filming but we stayed until the end. They're having Sophie Ellis Bextor on next week. I felt a little jibbed with our celebrity guest but otherwise it was pretty cool to watch a tv show taping.

Copenhagen - Day 3

Our final day in Copenhagen was doing the leftover stuff. You know, the stuff we hadn't done already. Aussies tend to have some affinity for Denmark ever since little commoner Mary Donaldson married the Crown Prince. We'd thought to pay a visit to the Amalienborg Palace.

But first, a few snacks:

Hotdog 4. Followed by a soft serve dusted in cocoa. Mmm nutritious.

A palace guard.....

.... who then told me off for getting too close when taking this photo. Hey, a heart on the guard's box! It's cute!

The palace and it's grounds.

Then we climbed Fredrik's Church nearby.

Not much of a feat but it did give us a nice view of the palace and neighbouring opera house.

I found a lovely mushroom to sit on in the King's (Rosenbourg) Garden.

We had a final dinner at a cafe close to the hotel (the Danes really love their elderflower) and made our way to the airport.

Hotdog 5 joined us.

I'm glad to have ticked Copenhagen off the list, but there was something a bit lacking about the place. Definitely not the hot dogs though. As 'nice' as it was, it'll be unlikely that I visit again!

Copenhagen - Day 2

Day 2 began with brunch at Canteen which was the culinary highlight of our trip. This little cafe was a little way off the main city district, on a road which I can only describe as a quiet version of Brunswick st. The food was nothing terribly exotic but just clean, fresh flavours that had been well put together. Of course, we didn't find this place ourselves - Smee's friend, a local took us here.

Mmmmm... brunch..

The next thing to tick off the tourist list was visit the Little Mermaid. She's a little statue which was built based on the fairytale by Denmark's own homeboy, Hans Christian Andersen.

We were firstly shown the fake mermaid:

She was built for the tourists disappointed at the size of the real mermaid. Hmmm, this one seems to have gone under the surgeon's knife. Those breasts look fake! Far too pert and more like a 1990's Pamela Anderson. Each knocker is bigger than my head.

Here's the real mermaid:

Yes, yes, much more natural breasts indeed. She's tiny.... and so innocuous looking. Not like those scary mermaids in Harry Potter.

Next we visited the little 'alternative' commune, Christiania. Like other Scandinavian cities, Copenhagen is renown for being clean, safe but a place of high taxes and high cost of living. It seems surprising yet almost inevitable that some residents rebelled, setting up shop on abandoned army barracks and deciding that they were a state independent of the EU. I didn't research properly and I expected Christiania to be a happy-happy, colourful hippie community. You know, like the hippies you see on TV. Well as much as TV is my best friend, unfortunately, he does tell big lies.

I was pretty excited to visit Christiania but once we reached our destination, there was a surge of apprehension which I had to beat it back with a stick. Damn middle class upbringing. Maybe being at the back, dodgy entrance didn't help!

Wandering through grounds. The various architecture. Smee enjoying it thus far.

No photos were allowed in 'Pusher' street. Yes. Pusher. As in the drug kind. Next to Pusher st was an area to light up your joints and other various substances, but mainly cannabis. If this was Amsterdam, I might've had a puff but it juuust wasn't quite the same atmosphere.

Here's the exit. Yep, that sign says "You are now entering the EU". Aaah, yes... the main entrance. Much less dodgy than the entrance we took!

A canal cruise was next on the agenda. We picked the next available boat and the one that looked least likely to sink. It went under a few bridges here and there, the major sites were pointed out.

All days in Copenhagen must include a sausage! Hot dog stands were conveniently located.

Hotdog 2 and Hotdog 3

Tomorrow - the leftover stuff!

Copenhagen - Day 1

Me and Smee delayed going away for the most recent London bank holiday, opting to utilise the following weekend instead. Cheaper too! Early morning flights are never good, but *whinge whinge* that's what you gotta endure for the privilege of traveling.

Copenhagen was our chosen destination. Best for the cold-fearing like myself to go to the Scandinavian countries before it gets unbearable.

Typically, an efficient train took us from the airport to Copenhagen's (or København if you're Danish) central train station. We got our bearings right and realised that our hotel was in the red-light district. It wasn't terribly obvious, but a few scantily dressed women on street corners upped my suspicions. Our hotel was pretty average but hey, it's somewhere to sleep at night.

We started our day checked out Fisketorvet, the largest shopping centre in northern Europe, or something like that. Our hotel was walking distance, but trust me - don't make a special trip out there.

We then walked to the main square, which felt very Amsterdam-ish. Then made our way down the main shopping thoroughfare, which felt very Brussels-ish. Then to dock area, Nyhavn, which felt a bit like the lovechild of Stockholm and Amsterdam.

Stopping by a 7-11 with not two or four but 10 slurpee machines.

Hotdog number 1. You will notice a recurring pattern here.

We visited the Tivoli Gardens, the popular amusement park. We watched the Danish equivalent of Eric Clapton perform on stage. I didn't understand a word he was singing, but it sounded orrite.

Chinese Pagoda in the Tivoli Gardens.

I insisted on doing at least one ride, so I chose the one with the shortest queue, The Golden Tower. I forgot to wear contact lenses and had to do the ride without my spectacles. *thumbs up*

Being on holidays means you're allowed to eat crap and so we did.

Here's my soft serve ice cream.

Tomorrow - more touristy stuff!

Blood Brothers: The Musical

Well I followed a few others (hai Suboo!) to the long running musical Blood Brothers. The story is set in Liverpool and chronicles the lives of twin boys separated at birth. One is brought up in relative poverty and the other in relative wealth.

The first thing I noticed when entering the theatre was that it was almost empty, maybe a quarter of the seats filled at most. Fair enough - this show has run for 20-odd years.

I was told that I would CRY while watching this musical. Errr... no, that didn't happen. I mean, yeah it's a tragic story but it's nothing that hasn't been the premise for a Korean drama. Also, right from the beginning the story screamed tragic ending. I did hear someone sob in the audience. Must've been a hardcore fan.

It didn't have the razzle dazzle of other productions and felt more like a "play with music", than a musical. The songs were ok...maybe more just not to my preference. Something a little unusual was the inclusion of a stage narrator who lurked in the background. He was distracting enough. The face that he resembled my office building manager (he's got crazy hair) was even more distracting. I do have to compliment the lead actress who played the twins mother. She looked maybe a 50-ish and had a pair of really great legs.

I can't say I disliked Blood Brothers, but I certainly wouldn't watch it again. It was just so-so and not to my liking. If you're a seasoned theatre-goer who adores the fancy productions, then Blood Brothers would be a different - either a refreshing or a disappointing - night out. There must be a reason why this has ran for 20 years. I think it must appeal to those who love a tragedy. Hey, I'm no stone-hearted biatch (I cried during the SATC movie, of all things), but I'm not going to shed tears if I'm not moved.

So yeah... Blood Brothers gets a 'meh' from me.

Ikea = Fat Biatch with Sh*t Customer Service

You know, I like hanging out at IKEA. I do always have to refrain from buying super useful pieces of cheap furniture which has a 50/50 chance of falling apart. It's a bit of a different affair here in London. I don't own a car here and the IKEA stores all seem to be at least in Zone 4 or 5.

Anyway, I'm pretty much going to vent about last night's experience.

Me and Smee had bought some wire baskets and storage frame. We had no use for the extra ones purchased and no storage space either. It was a sensible thing to return them.

This is a little irrelevant but it made our simple adventure to Ikea a trying one. The late afternoon began with a bus ride from from St. Pauls using a bus that went direct to one of the numerous Ikea stores in London, specifically the one in Tottenham Hale. The timetable said it would take an an hour. Ok, ok we weighed that up and thought it wasn't so bad given that tube + bus would’ve taken at least 45 mins. Thirty minutes into the trip, the bus slowed due to a really really bad traffic jam. Then the driver turned off the bus lights and told everyone to get off!!! We had no idea where we were! No help from the bus driver either!

Luckily, I stayed awake during the ride and saw that we had passed a Tube station about 1km prior. So we jumped on the Piccadilly line, changed to the Victoria line to bring us to Tottenham Hale and then waited for a bus to Ikea. A one hour trip ended up being 1 hour 45 mins and we got to Ikea at 9pm. Good thing it shuts at 10pm.

We had to endure another wait at the returns desk. Once there, the 'helpful', dumb, fat biatch told us that the wire baskets we were returning were originally wrapped in packaging. Hence she could only give us a 60% refund because it wasn’t in it’s original state, but our other return items were fine.

Now, I know exactly what I picked up in the Ikea warehouse and these frigging baskets were stacked in a huge pile, without any form of tagging or packaging and I'm not going to let anyone tell me otherwise. Especially, when I KNOW they are wrong. On top of that, she was just blatantly rude, had the worst attitude and was just really asking for me to smack her out.

We told her it wasn't wrapped in any packaging of any sort. She huffed (she was a bit obese) with "Do you know how I know it has packaging? It says so on the receipt’. Then, she had the nerve to explain packaging to us "It is covered in plastic or has a tag" - by which we had to stop her mid-sentence as she was clearly insulting intelligence. We asked to speak to the manager, to which she grunted "What for?’

What for!?!?!!??!?! Are you f**king kidding me, woman!?! *imagining my fist going into her face*

Whilst she searched for the manager, we examined our wire baskets and found the barcode - ‘packaging’ if you will - printed on the basket itself. This was pointed out on her and the manager's return to the desk, by which she huffed again. An apology? Customer service? Nothing of the sort.

After watching her process the return of 4 baskets, she gave us a receipt and I realised that she only processed 3.

Me: ‘Excuse there are 4 baskets here’
Fat Biatch: ‘Well I saw 3’
Me: ‘Well there are 4, have a look’
Fat Biatch: ‘Don’t worry IF there are 4, then I will process your refund’

Wtf – I don’t give a f**king shit about a £3.50 basket. She was just downright patronising. I want a freaking apology and an acknowledgment that YOU WERE WRONG. Again, nothing of the sort.

We tracked down the manager and gave him a walloping complaint, like never before. At least he demonstrated a level of professionalism. If you're going to have that much attitude, at least back it up with knowledge. If you hate going to work, then stay in your frigging home. Stupid ass woman. *punches face*